Blogging, Anxiety, and the Fear of Imperfection

So here we are, many months past my last post and a url change later. Blogging is something that I have been trying to do on and off for years. And when I say years, what I truly mean is probably the last decade or so of my life. I struggle with it. I struggle with feeling the need to brand myself a certain way, have a niche, take perfect photos, and write compelling posts on top of it all. How can I be a successful blogger if I don’t have a perfectly designed and branded site that matches all my other social media in every aspect and contributes to a singular niche interest?

All I have ever wanted from the online presence is to be my authentic self and to connect with other people through that honesty. It’s something that I have started to do in many blog iterations, each started with a burst of motivation and inspiration, only to fizzle out as my anxiety and fear of inadequacy slips in. This becomes more and more frustrating the older I get and the further away I feel from the person I want to be. Part of this is due to my struggles with my mental health; depression and anxiety is an awful mixture of things that can be truly crippling. It can be difficult for me to push through those feelings and stick to things, even if those things could help me in the long run, both mentally and in other ways.

When it comes to blogging, I need to let go of perfectionism. I need to loosen my grip on what I think a successful blog is and just let myself write. I don’t necessarily want to have a specific niche that I stick to; I don’t even really read blogs that are like that. All of the people I follow online that I truly admire and am inspired by are people that are just sharing their lives and their thoughts with the world. I enjoy the realness and honesty of people who share their day to day lives and how they’re feeling whether the feelings are positive or not. People are not just one thing and I’m not interested in presenting only one aspect of myself because that to me seems difficult to connect with.

So here we are, Moods and Muses. What will it be? I don’t know yet. There’s a lot of things I want to write about: magic, sustainability, art, daily life, and the list goes on. I want to share and connect with people through being my authentic self. It will go however it goes. I can’t make any promises about my consistency, but I can tell you that I’m going to try. I’m going to try so hard and maybe sometimes that means this space will be kind of messy. Maybe sometimes I will write about things that make me sad or anxious. We’ll see.

If you’re reading this, thank you. I hope you’ll stick around and go with me on this journey, whatever it ends up being.

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